I LOVE parties and groups. As a kid, I was a shy nerd. As an adult, I got over it. Here are some tips: workshop it. Look up articles on how to make conversation and get over shyness. Have a few innocent topics and a few ideas for quick subject changes to use in emergencies. As in, Q: ”Do you live with your parents?” A:, ”Look it’s Haley’s Comet!” (Run for the chip dip.) Bring something neat like an origami kit or a pocket chess board. Do NOT bring squirt guns and whistles for the kids. Learn a few really funny jokes that don’t involve sex or race. Don’t get drunk at a work party, but if you’re an adult and not driving, ONE or TWO drinks can make it easier to open up. Also: Pretend to like stupid things! It makes THEM happy, for some reason. Endless banter about ’American Idol’ or Justin Timberlake will make you a few friends. Just bearned, it may turn into a regular water cooler discussion. Do NOT go on endlessly about Star Trek, Anime, computers, or anything the people who like that also like.

Aye yi yi! My boss asked my girlfriend if she was a pirate. After about five seconds of silence he says, ”I’ll be leaving now” and scoots off.