I know the message is about the medium, but all the publicity that “TV IS GOING DIGITAL!!!!!!” is getting, from the incessant commericals to concerned news-casts and government-rebate-assisted conversion boxes, you’d think we were counting down to the poles of the very goddam Earth switching. I just hope such a well organized campaign of awareness is executed when some really dire shiz hits the horizon.
It has been a super crazy week here in Aspen. I’m not going to go into the nitty gritty, but lets just say that loafing around at the Ritz Carlton is NICE. I went to a dinner party at a 12 million dollar house two nights ago. Apparently rich people listen to trance while they eat chicken fingers and hashbrowns off fine china and like to give out giftbags at the end of it all. It sorta reminded me of how I got party favors at birthday parties when I was a kid. Once when I was living in France I went to a classmates Birthday party - her father was an arab oil magnate - and the party favor was worth about $200 more than my gift to her.. whoops!
Its raining here today and the snowbanks are starting to look like they have black grimey 5-day stubble. Some weather caster on the news was saying they’re finding mercury in the air at Steamboat and that it’s from pollution from China wafting over here. That’s pollution from China from them making all our plastic happy meal Polly Pocket toys… commercial Karma’s a bitch.
Uranus must be in my house of venus because I’ve been getting a lot of male attention lately… and that’s really saying something since it’s gay ski week and 80% of the town ain’t buying what I’m selling. Here’s a photo of Marko Tomassetti, 3rd place winner in the Aspen Gay Ski Week costume contest. God bless America.
I’m not sure if he is supposed to be Britney, Paris, or Lindsay but I think his lack of manscaping might have landed him with the bronze instead of gold.
Some of you wrote wondering where I’d been… It occured to me this week that I might not want to let people in my daily life know about my blog, because I really like letting lose here and telling you guys all the dirty gossip… and this week was particularly drrrty, LOL.
I met a guy via an online dating site (not this one) who was from Vail and he came with me to this week’s physics lecture where we learned that in the 1980s IBM created a microscope (the Scanning Tunneling Microscope) that allows us to see some types of Atoms and even rearrange them… which is pioneering the creation of nan-scaled computer circuits… which basically means that one day your laptop will have 200,000 times the power of your current laptop. Pretty mind blowing. The way the nan-circuits work (with 2 foci and a “mirage” effect) is really cool…. click on the link above to learn more about it.
After the lecture we went to the Sky hotel lounge- a favorite among the apres ski crowd… and no wonder. Very awesome decor- 7 sputnick chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, a fire, a great pool and hot tub, and pleasantly arranged couches.
The next night I worked until late, but as I was closing shop at 10pm friends started texting me to go out. That really made me feel great since I’ve onl been here 20 days, and already have done enough good to have people wanting to chillax with me! I slipped down to Campo to meet up with a guy we’ll call “Luis Vuiton”. He loves labels, works with them, and is such a diva, but definitely straight. He’s not what I’d picture as “my type” in my mind, but he has a silver tongue and is just incredibly easy to be around and makes me laugh. I felt awful when he told me he’d gotten a dui a few nights before after dropping me off at home!!! He hadn’t even had that much to drink… but he took it in stride and said he was barely over the limit and would fight it. Since there’s so little news in this town, apparently he was in the paper today (omggg)… so I guess I’m hanging out with a local bad boy celebrity, lol. Poor thing.
After going out with Louis V. and meeting up with my friend A-dog, A and I ended up back at my condo drunkenly eating leftover spagetti, grapes and cheese. I woke up this morning in my clothes lying on the living room floor carpet with just a blanket, and a very uncomfy rash on my eyelids from some contaminated makeup (i think). I had to rush out the door to run some errands, get some hydrocortizone cream, and try to repair my face for my dancing date with “Poetry Man” tonight. I’m definitely at the age where I appreciate poems and romance, instead of laughing at it like I did in middle school. I don’t know this man very well yet, but he seems to be a jovial spirit and has done a lot of interesting things on this planet. I found a wonderful Shakespeare sonnet that I think everyone should know, printed it and folded it into an orgami lily for him :).
As if all this lovely attention wasn’t enough, I even got a very surprising call from a celebrity I dated in LA over a year ago, who I’m kinda embarassed to fess up to since he is such a ladies man and quite a bit older… but very sexy to me and completely harmless and sweet. We’ll call him “Dr. Malcolm“. He’s going to be in NY for four months and wanted me to visit. I’d be interested to connect with him again… dating him was one of the most whirlwind, bizzare and fun things ever and I completley take it as a fluke and nothing more- a “enjoy this in the now” sorta experience… which I guess all dating should ideally be.
So yeah, it’s Boyz week in Aspen, and a nice change from the barren tundra of dating-less miserablality that was October-December. I feel like I’m holding my own version of The Bachelorette… I’ll let you know how the next rose ceremony turns out ;).
Every moment between each time I blink
I’m given pines and gigantic sky
Quiet hills and foreboding crows
Prissy hooves and sparkling snows
And I’m thankful for my time alive.
Today is going to be a fun one I think- I get to work at the gallery tonight, and Winterskol is going on in town (I will post photos of the snow-sculptures in a few hours). Last night was my first night out with a new Aspen friend C-dog (names withheld because, i dunno). She’s a fun girl- sporty and casual and easy to hang with. We got a few beers at Bad Billy’s which is just sort of a local watering hole/sports pub. I got to watch the Phoenix’s on TV a bit- there’s just something sexy about Steve Nash. Oh, and I sold another painting yesterday- I’m more than halfway to my monthly quota- I really want to bust the doors off that sucker!
Some text communique put me in a VERY bad mood all evening last night actually. I don’t want to go into the details, but basically I felt mislead/ganged up on/taken advantage of/made a fool of. I guess it’ll all get “talked out” this week… however I feel I’ve been shown again to really not put tons of trust in just anyone…. I tend to get enthusiastic about people quickly… I love life and I’m just a cheerleader in general… but I set myself up for disappointment by doing that sometimes. You gotta give people time to show you what they’re made of. I’m still waiting to see.
I was just reading a little bit of the first chapter of a book called “The Magician’s Way” which features a story about an “intuitive golf teacher”. This golf teacher came into the gallery yesterday with another repeat client. Both men are spirited, flirty, and funny.
Anyways, the golf teacher became my facebook friend on the spot, and I checked his profile out today which led to reading this chapter on him teaching a very frustrated man a new way of playing golf… which is also a metaphor for how to tackle life. It’s all about “focus on the target; stop rationalizing every detail of your swing”… not focusing on yourself and shifting the focus to the target. Seems easy enough- and common sense.
It’s actually interesting because last night we were playing shuffleboard at Bad Billys. I kept lobbing the disks into the gutter or whizzing them off the end, until it occurred to me to quit focusing on how to push the thing and start focusing on where I wanted to land. Actually, that’s exactly the lesson the Golf Teacher gives this man in the book- somewhat of a crazy coincidence that I experienced that last night before reading this today. Anyways, as soon as I started intently focusing on landing my disk in the “4″ section… it started happening IMMEDIATELY. I lobbed 2 in there and we WON!
Reading this chapter about this golf lesson, my mind keeps drifting back to my experience in Los Angeles and where I am today, and how what he’s telling the student in the story could apply to me. When I see the Golf Teacher again, and we inevitably get in some conversation about what we’ve been up to… what do I say? Whenever I tell people I left LA i feel a little bothersome tug inside… I don’t want them to think it was too hard for me, or that I quit. I left because something settled inside of me and I changed. But I just had an epiphany after reading this paragraph in the book where the student is struggling with hitting the golf ball through two branches on a tree (the target):
“The problem is you’re too attached to the outcome. Your mind is making it a matter of life and death. It’s like you’ll only imagine it if you know for certain that it can happen. That means you’re still inside the swing circle trying to control it. You have to get out of the swing circle and out to the target. You can’t do that if you’ve got a big investment in the outcome. Your trouble is that you have a fear of failure. Let go of whether it will happen or not. Rememebr, it’s just a game, and the game isn’t about a good result or a bad result, the game is in imagining the ball doing what you want it to do. Play that game- the imagination game”
“Your enemy is expectation. Your ally is detachment. The game isn’t the process, the game is the dream.”
When I was in LA, “making it” became a life or death goal. When I first moved to NY, I was just starting out and reveling in my new environment, and anything seemed possible, and good things and progress came easily. Upon landing in LA, immediately I started to fill with doubts and negativity. I felt I was too old and racing against the clock. I “didn’t know” if I was pretty enough, talented enough, smart enough. I was awash in self-criticism and worry. Some good things definitely came my way- I did try to work hard, but I also just got knotted up in fear of failure and expectations and doubt and fear and anger. Being an actress felt like a shizzy chore instead of a dream… and my energy levels and optimism were really down the drain by the time I found myself living in a crappy apartment in the Valley dead broke.
Much like the golfing lesson… I was so wrapped up in examining myself, I lost sight of the target. I didn’t even have a target besides keeping my head just above water, and that is all I kept doing. I didn’t believe deep down that I could do it. Also, succeeding at it was too important and too wrapped up in my ego.
When I decided to move out of LA, life started getting better FAST. Saying “f*ck it” to the seemingly impossible goal of being an actress… a goal which didn’t even seem appealing anymore… was greatly liberating. And I guess it’s because I stopped making it life or death- it was no longer tied to my ego, and therefore of so much less consequence. The opportunity to life and work in Aspen materialized, and I was able to pull myself out of my blahness and take the chance and come out here.
I have been happier than I’ve felt in a long time since moving out here. I look forward to working at the gallery every day, and I’ve already sold $12K of art in the first week. I think part of that happiness is I”m not super-analyzing whether or not I CAN do it… I just do it because I enjoy it. I didn’t have any expectations coming out here- it’s like looking at a snowy white wall… a blank canvas. I don’t feel like I have to fill it up. I don’t feel like I have to do anything. What a GREAT feeling. And since I started feeling that way, more money has been coming in, and waking up every day has felt better.
I don’t know that I am ready to claim any big targets yet… my current thought is “I am going to sell $25k of art his month… yes i am”. Yes, that’s a goal, but I don’t want to get too attached to it and make it life or death. Still mastering this zen-ness. But anyway, at least I now understand a bit better what was going on with me in LA, and why I don’t regret having experienced it or moving on from it a single bit.
This post is gonna feature my Kanye West video of the week, as well as my beauty product recommendation of the week. Then some idle chit chat.
If you haven’t seen Kanye’s “Love Lockdown” video yet, check it out, I think it’s pretty badass and beautiful. I like the contrast between Kanye in the sterile white, modern environment… and then the earthy tribal savageness that I think represents an uncontrollable love, passion, desire. Especially the screenshot shown above where he is sitting, exhausted and frustrated in the corner, with his “savage love” standing there- scary, intimidating, undeniable, the elephant in the room.
I used to write a blog only about beauty products cause I just love telling people about lotions and potions I find that work. That impulse hasn’t been fully squelched out of me yet, so here is my recommended product of the week: Herbal Essences “Set Me Up” Spray Gel. I found this under the bathroom counter in the condo from some girl in days past… this shiz, when sprayed on my damp hair, makes my bangs do what I want, and the rest of it straight, shiny, and nice. Maybe a little dry at the ends, but that is what my all time favorite product, Bed Head Afterparty, is here to remedy. Afterparty is the best hair cream ever, period, and worth every penny. Yes, the bottle looks like a dildo, but that only adds to it’s charm in my opinion.
So last night I pulled myself out of the man-hating blues (from my previous post) by surrounding myself with love-able brainiac geeks at a physics lecture here at the Opera Hall: Nature’s Exquisite Nanomachines: The Dynamic and Varied City Plan of Living Cells.
It was awesome and interesting, and I don’t particularly feel like describing it all right now, but if you want to know about the little motors (myosins) in your cells that walk, like they have 2 feet, just like us, along these roadways (actin filaments) to carry shiz from one place to another, read this. It’s fascinating. Oh, and don’t forget to stretch before and after exercise, to give your actin filaments a break.
The lecture was so soothing to me because the speaker reminded me of my dad- smart as hell, humble, interesting. He even looked like him a little bit. It also fascinated me how these little motors…. trillions of them… walk around in our cells and get things done. It makes me feel like WE are the nanomotors on this cell called earth. And then I thought about how our neural impulses tell the myosins what to do- we are their “god”. So if our brainwaves direct them…. is that kinda like how God directs us?
I was running late for the lecture and missed the last bus to get their on time, and this handsome older man in a nice SUV gave me a ride. Normally I’d never hitchhike, but it seemed safe enough. On the short drive there he told me he’d lived there 10+ years and had worked at a restaurant as a bartender. The place had shut down last season after 51 years of being open! The owner was in his 70s and ready to retire to Crested Butte (sp?). I was surprised that this nice looking man with the nice car was a bartender… you really can’t judge a book by its cover. He complained about how Aspen had changed. I asked him “How has it changed?” as we pulled up to my destination.
“Well,” he said with a sigh, “They’ve got all these lights on all these trees now…”.
I said thanks and waved goodbye. I thought I’d agree with him on how awful whatever change that had occurred was… but you know what… all these lights on these trees is one of my favorite parts of this pretty place. Go figure…..
Apparently Aspen isn’t pms proof. I’m getting ready to bitch a lot, mostly about stupid boys, so if that isn’t your cup of coco stop reading…. NOW. This angry post has been fortified by hours of melancholy Bright Eyes and Sufjan Stevens listening.
I’m really sick of the myth that “the girl chooses” and that men woo women…. because that shiz just does not seem to happen anymore. I never felt like I got my choice. I asked my gay guy friend on IM and he replied “Guys are just too lazy now to pursue women anymore”. And I guess that is probably totally true in a girls-gone-wild era of pussygalore. I told GayFriend “Women NEED romance” and his response was “Romance is a cultural construct created to sell lipstick and flowers”. Maybe asking a gay guy isn’t the best research tactic… but I just don’t think boys understand anymore that romance and sweetness to girls is like blowjobs to guys… its IS foreplay… and that guys would get a lot more BJs if they’d just get it together and stop giving all us cute girls one way tickets to bitterdom. Do men really not care how we feel anymore? Do guys have ANY feelings besides wanting to hump anything with long hair? I wish I could cut my sensitivity and estrogen out so that I could be a cold sex-machine which seems to be the ideal.
I’m so done. At least for this week. No more letting down the hair.
The Aspen Chamber of Commerce should seriously consider putting “every day is a great hair day” on their website… mixed up in all that blah blah blah about skiing.
I just found out that my roomies may not be returning at all for a while, which has me pretty bummed. It’s more fun here when you have funny friends to share it with. I’m just gonna have to dig in harder and make some.
I got manhandled by some customers this morning. It was a whirlwind of hope and then despair as they left without purchasing the paintings they were excited about. The Boss gave me some good pointers on selling that I’ll assault my next victims with and see if they can wiggle away quiet so easily, muah haha.
I really need to get better at being authoritative and controling the pace of the conversation. That probably means stamping out parts of my Southerness and small-white-girlness. My little sister says I dominate conversations a lot, but then again, that might be a tainted perspective to go on. I’ll know I’m winning once I’ve sold some ketchup popsicles to man in white gloves.
It is -3 degrees outside but feels like -15 and I can attest to that because my boogies were freezing in my nose every time I inhaled. We got 16 inches of snow yesterday and are expecting 6 more on Tuesday. I’m still excited about that, probably because I don’t have a driveway to shovel. I missed my stop on the bus tonight - this place is all mountains and pine trees in the dark- and I thought I’d have to ride the loop all the way around again, however the driver turned around for me and I didn’t even have to flutter my eyelashes. Now that is the perk of living in a small town.
I went by the gallery and chilled with Ali for a bit and then searched in vain for a cute jacket under $200. A cute Australian boy tried to help me in one store, but kept bringing me sweaters instead of coats, lol. Ali says everyone local just shops online here and I believe it…. prices are outrageous, even with the deep sales.
So I got home and burned some chicken and made a sandwich. Tina went nuts attacking her pink doggie toy- I had to get That Crazy Cat a chew toy to give my hands a break from the onslaught. I’m gonna chill with this Steve Martin movie and stare at photoshop for a few more hours and call it a night.
Vintage, beauty products, and white kitties all-in-one = zero resistance. Yes that is my cat Tina thinking “Why does that lotion bottle look so familiar?”. I went to the Aspen thrift shop yesterday to get a bedside table lamp and found that vintage Avon perfume bottle with the white kitty on top. I’m not THAT crazy of a cat lady, I promise I have under 2000 photos of her on my myspace, but I really couldn’t pass up her little idol.
So I’ve decided I need a girlier jacket for going out, because as is I look like I’m headed to the Idederod 24/7. Everything in Aspen closes by 5pm it seems… even the starbucks closes at 4:15!!! I think I’m just used to living in college towns where there are plenty of coffee shops that stay open all night. I’m getting together with some local girlies tonight to grab a beer and assimilate more. The boys have gone to Park City for the weekend and it is too quiet around here… but reminds me that i do need to get out and make new friends instead of relying on being entertained by my roomies hilarity… because I dont’ know if they’ll be staying the entire season. Luckily, I think the Xbox is staying.
Out of all the places you could celebrate New Years Eve…. London, New York, Los Angeles… you’d think Aspen, Colorado would be the LEAST dangerous place. However at 2:30 yesterday afternoon the entire town was put on lockdown and evacuated because bombs had been delivered by a madman to two local banks. They later found a black sled with two more bombs in an alley… he’d apparently abandoned his plan halfway through. He was 71 years old, had apparently grown up in Aspen, and had previous run-ins with the law. They found him dead in his Jeep Cherokee from a self inflicted gunshot wound. Really sad, but I’m glad that no one was hurt by his insanity.
Needless to say, there were a LOT of pissed rich people here last night. Both fireworks shows were canceled, and the dozens of ritzy parties all over town were called off as well- because police tape was blocking off the entire town! Tickets to the parties were prohibitively expensive, from $50 to $500 and up, and the boys and I hadn’t laid out any cash to party… thank goodness. I guess all the locations are going to have to refund the money and the to
wn is losing millions- I bet it’ll force some of those places to close, especially after this year’s economy.
Regardless, we stayed late at the gallery, then went to Devon’s friend Michelle’s adoreable ski chalet home for an amazing dinner and tons of excellent wine and champagne! She thought she recognized me, and after some talk, we realized that we’re 80% sure she was my ski instructor in Vail over 10 years ago.
She is part Swedish and a wine expert. We all got a warm buzz going on and all I know is I woke up this morning in my pjs in my own bed. I never drink Champagne, and I think somehow it makes me lose time when I do!
I wasn’t toooo hung over, maybe thanks to my little no-hangover patch I slapped on when I woke up at 6am feeling a little surly. I went into the Gallery at 1 and ended up staying until 11:30 pm hanging out with Devon and Brad. Today Devon taught me lots of interesting things on Picasso, Renoir and Chagal. I’m really falling in love with the art in our gallery… and the whole idea of working in this business. Devon is very passionate about art - “the Great Tresures of our world” as he calls them. All I know is I remember all the stories he tells me about each piece with relative ease, and enjoy recounting them to customers. I lover being around the art all day. I love the idea of helping Devon be it’s caretaker until we can find a home for each piece. I love working with it. It makes me want to be creative - it inspires me and makes me feel happy.
At 8:30 the town put on it’s New Years fireworks display. It was absolutely breathtaking. They launch the fireworks from a little way’s up the ski mountain, and the entire snowy slopes light up pink, green, and blue in their glow. I stood out in the freeing cold for 30 minutes mesmerized by it. What a perfect first day for 2009.
After work we headed over to Jimmy’s and had some excellent lamb and mac and cheese. It was a very coold little bar, and on the wall everyone with the name Jimmy signed it. I signed my father’s name (Jim) in his memory :) I like the idea of his name being on the wall of a place I spent time in this gorgeous mountain town. He’s still here with me every day 
I was very tired after our late dinner (where I ate almost nothing- still no appetite- is it the altitude?!), but it was 1am and there was only one hour of bartime left so we hopped over to some place I’ve already forgotten the name of. People were partying like it was New Year’s eve, but the crowd was really thin- I think a lot of people flew out today. The club smelled like vomit and I was pretty grossed out, but managed to stay on both feet until we mercifully went home.
This was the best New Year’s I’ve ever had. I’m sad because Devon, Brad and Adam are leaving tomorrow for a few days and I might be lonely… but at I have the day off tomorrow so I can explore the town a bit, maybe do some hiking, reading and writing. Besides, it’s a little boring being the 4th female wheel while they hit on girls as we walk around. I need to start making some friends of my own here so I’m not so reliant on hanging out with them, but I have to say, they are the most fun, hilarious group of people I’ve met in a while and I love spending time with them.
I’m really excited about 2009. I just have this feeling that it’s going to be one of the best year’s of my life.
