Work stops being work then and just another fun thing you do on a regular basis.

I can very much relate to this blog topic. Letting go of attachments is definitely liberating, but remarkably difficult. It reminds me of skateboarding. When I looked at the board I couldn’t seem to pull off my tricks, but as soon as I just relaxed and looked where I was going without worrying about falling I started nailing them. Go figure.

It’s definitely a Zen thing. Ever read any books on Zen? Fascinating and refreshing stuff. I recommend one by Charlotte Joko Beck called Nothing Special: Living Zen. It’s one of those books that you read and then immediately re-read.

Sorry to hear about your boy trouble. We’re kind of stupid. Sorry.

Anyway, I just thought that I’d mention that bar tending can be lucrative. I’m a regular to a local rock bar and I can tell you that a couple of the bartenders there make almost as much as I do, and I’m a research scientist (albeit, a lowly one that works under a lead scientist). I was surprised by this, but if your good and your clients are drunk and happy then they tend to give you more money than they otherwise would. I overtip all the time when I’m having fun!

Cheers!
-B

I asked out my last crush with a dozen roses (I bought two dozen and tossed the first lot because they weren’t good enough). She said no - it would have been a bad match anyway so nothing lost. Next time I ask someone out I’ll do it with chivalry and romance right up there.

Sex is good and all but I’m more interested in knowing someone’s there when I need them and showing them I appreciate it.

I have absolutely zero interest in playing hard to get. One of my ex’s dated a friend of mine after we broke up. I later found out it was an attempt to get me jealous and try to fight for her. At the time I wished her well and had not idea that even changing her mind was an option, or something that I’d even want to do.

Most of human sexuality, and human interaction, for that matter, is a cultural construct. Lots of the baggage associated with the 12th-century European phenomenon we call romance is flat out misogynistic, and should probably be discarded. The trick is not to throw ethical behavior, sweetness, consideration, and cookie bouquets (if you’re into those relatively harmless things) out with the misogynistic bathwater.

I.e., feminism doesn’t give anyone, regardless of gender, an excuse to be a prick, a twat, or an asshole (all crotch-based erogenesis-related insults get equal billing here).

The truth in this cliche is, perhaps, the reason you’re frustrated. Nice guys are boring; jerks are exciting. It is coded in our (your) DNA somewhere… right between code that handles needing to ask for directions and talking about feelings. Do you really want a predictable, stable, wholesome individual for the rest of your life or do you want someone to keep you guessing? More importantly, do you want someone that makes you feel like you have to constantly pursue them? Be honest! The answer is usually “yes.” We don’t Really want the easy relationship.

Snowbunny… if it were ME, I’d bring you flowers every day and rub your feet while reading to you on the couch every evening… that is, after I put away the dishes from the dinner that I cooked.

But wouldn’t you rather have tension? Excitement? Unpredictability? Relationships that are EASY don’t last. It’s sad because I’m a recovering “nice guy” who had to figure this out from experience.

So, I mostly agree with Mike D, (my favorite Beastie, by the way) except that I don’t think that it’s a lack of morals so much as human nature.